At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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