i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
