im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
