dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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