omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
