I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
