You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
