I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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