I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm at about main and main street
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize