ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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