My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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