I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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