wat bout pragnant strippers??
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
