Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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