so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's just like the Real World with babies
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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