Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
