that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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