Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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