i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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