Barsexuality is the new black.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love having hate sex.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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