toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
