She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
