if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
