I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
