There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
