i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
