Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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