I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
