She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
