You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
