did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
