do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
