So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
