What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
