so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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