they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
