I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
