Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
