how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
