Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
