yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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