Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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