how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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