also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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