I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
