Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
