just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
