friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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