i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my being single is dangerous.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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