Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
