belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
