How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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